Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Starting Point

You know what I love about metric weight? When the doctor tells you that you weigh 124 kilos, you actually think it's good. After all, it starts with a '1', it must be okay! It's not till you get home and do the math that you realize that you are 273 lbs. WHATTHEFUCK. Based on a height weight chart, I am supposed to be about 147 lbs. That means I am essentially carrying another person on my frame. You know when people joke that "it looks like you ate someone!"? I REALLY DID. My BMI is 42.9. HOLY CRAP. That other person that I ate? Essentially, a giant Adipose. (Note: People might be upset at this point that I am angry at myself for being a weight that may be smaller than them. If I could remind you of my former treatise about how I don't care about you, your weight, or your opinions, that would be just great.) This is way beyond a little junk in the trunk, or "You Go Girl, Be Big and Beautiful!", and veering dangerously into "I wash myself with a rag on a stick" territory. My bones were not made to carry this much weight. GAH.

1 comment:

  1. People spend a lot of time and energy going on and on about how it's okay to be big and how you shouldn't alienate fat people. And it's true. I hate when we judge people's worth by their size. And when I was much bigger I resented that I could barely buy clothes because of it (and I wasn't even the biggest guy I knew by far).

    That said, you know what you can judge by someone's weight? Their general health. IE: giantly obese people are not in good health, period. Now, some skinny people may also be in bad health, but all very obese people are.

    I have a friend who talked for years about how he was healthy despite being fat. And he wasn't just fat, he was a house. He went on and on about how he ate healthy food (he'd say this while eating McNuggets, so I don't know who he was fooling) and how his doctor said he was in fine shape.

    Then one day he shows up and tells us all he has type 2 diabetes. He said it like he was dropping some shocking shit on us. Well, duh, of course you do. You drink a whole 2 liter of pop like it's a side beverage. What did you expect?

    Fat people are great people and there is no reason they cannot be brilliant, funny, fun, desirable, and all that good junk. But to go so far as to say it's not unhealthy really misses the point of equality, eh?